My 25 Year Harvard Law School Reunion
..brought up a lot of introspection about who I was then vs. who I am now
Yesterday, I spent the day at Desert Reef Hot Springs for my birthday with my good friend. We drove two and a half hours from Boulder for this overnight girls’ getaway located just South of Colorado Springs in a little town called Florence. The scenery of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains was absolutely spectacular and the trip inspired some powerful self-reflection.
Just the week before, I had been on the East Coast to attend my Harvard Law School 25-Year Reunion. Despite seeing dear friends in New York and Boston and having a wonderful time, I returned home feeling depressed.
It wasn't until I was soaking in the hot water of the springs that I realized how attending my HLS 25th-year reunion had transported me back to my time there. As I relaxed in the water, memories flooded back of who I was at 25, surrounded by "American" lawyer types. It was a powerful reminder of my journey and how far I've come.
Who was 25-year-old Andrea…the young woman had left her home in Chile to attend Harvard Law School?
At that time, I didn't really know myself, and I felt like I didn't belong anywhere, neither in Chile nor in the US. However, I belonged more in the US, and so I stayed. When I decided to study law in Chile instead of theater – my passion at the time – it was an act of rebellion that had a lasting impact on me.
Growing up, I was acutely aware of the differences between how my older brother and I were treated. This feeling was especially strong for my generation, which was the equivalent of Hillary Clinton's generation in the US, where women were entering the workforce for the first time. My mission was to copy men, outsmart them, and win, even if it meant sacrificing my identity. The "cause" came first.
It wasn't easy fighting to be taken seriously by society, especially by my father. Comparing notes with my friends at that time, it was a common feeling among smart, young women who had been given all the privileges in life but were not being taken seriously. It felt like a severe form of bullying.
Perhaps I would have felt like I belonged more if I had found my crowd in Chile at that time.
To be taken seriously, however, I couldn’t follow my dream of being an artist. If I was an artist, everyone would assume that I depend financially on my parents or a husband because “starving artists” make no money.
So I became a lawyer instead, which took me down a completely different path. I knew how to study. I was disciplined as hell about studying, so I aced law school in Chile. Did that mean I was meant to be a lawyer? I got good grades to impress my father. It was confusing as hell, right?
I immersed myself in a different environment, one that resonated more with the lawyers' way of thinking rather than the artist's way. This vibe shift was a turning point. I chose to prioritize a cause – female economic empowerment – over my personal interests and passions without realizing that pursuing something you love is the most important thing.
While some feminists may applaud my decision to attend Law School and challenge the male-dominated industry, true privilege lies in having a deep understanding of oneself and trusting one's inner voice. In retrospect, I had become disconnected from my intuition and needed to unplug from the noise surrounding me.
I want to clarify that I am not equating my experience to that of someone who was gay at a time when they had to hide their identity to survive. However, as a creative who had to suppress my creativity in order to achieve a specific goal for years, I recognize that wasn’t a healthy approach either.
Today, I see many Gen Z women in the US and around the world embracing the mindset of "Why should I follow what a man does when I can follow myself?" I would have killed for such an empowering belief system when I was younger.
Ultimately, we are all asked to choose which set of beliefs we want to align with, and it can be incredibly challenging to detach from the beliefs of our families when they have such a strong influence on us.
So, follow your gut and be you. But that is hard to do!
Saludos,
Andrea
PS: I am developing an in-person workshop soon to delve deeper into unlocking creativity. More soon!
This part-
“...true privilege lies in having a deep understanding of oneself and trusting one's inner voice.”
People underestimate how much of a superpower self-awareness is.
Glad that you’ve had these reflections Andrea. I often feel that what we didn’t know then, allows us to teach now to loved ones and those we can impact.
Thank you for sharing an experience that we can all learn from.
You were a most wonderful, intense, enthusiastic and multi talented adolescent way back when. I read your post and imagined very clearly the trials you went through, as a person born and raised in Canada and having lived here in chile for 30 plus years. Bravo and felicitaciones for your journey, Andrea.