Understanding one's identity is crucial in unraveling the “agreements” and “truths” we bought into early on in life, both about ourselves and others.
Growing up Jewish as a super minority in Chile (0.1% of the population), I bought into the shared beliefs surrounding my identity.
Being an extremely small Jewish minority in a predominantly Catholic country was challenging. You couldn’t really be 100% Jewish and 100% Chilean. I wanted to be both.
Within the Jewish community, I had a sense of belonging effortlessly. People recognized me, knew my family, and I had a place where I was "someone."
However, outside of the community, I needed to hide my Jewishness to avoid being different.
I've encountered both positive and negative beliefs associated with Jews. On the positive side, we are often seen as smart, and successful in making money, valuing education, and supporting one another.
On the negative side, there are stereotypes that suggest we care too much about money, are cheap, invented usury, only marry within our community, and exclude others.
I grew up understanding certain principles about money: that investing in education was a wise choice and that taking calculated risks could lead to prosperity (exemplified by my grandfather's successful business venture).
I was fortunate to grow up in a wealthy family. My father ran a department store that offered credit at the time; there was little or no credit in the Chilean economy.
The department store was founded by my grandfather, who was the ultimate entrepreneur and pioneer. When he died unexpectedly of a heart attack swimming, my father, who had a Ph.D. in seismic engineering from UC Berkeley (and would later die of a heart attack running), took over the family business.
This is a picture of a promotion for the store: buy at the store (on credit) and get a live turkey for free (this was in the 50s).
This was my grandfather, who started the business as a tailor. He had a 3rd grade education:
My father was highly conservative in his spending and didn't flaunt wealth, but I knew we were well-off for the time in Chile.
This upbringing instilled in me confidence and alignment with the stereotype surrounding Jews and money.
However, as I grew older, I realized that my relationship with money set me apart from my close circle of friends. Money became an uncomfortable topic as my friends either lacked or had less of it. I despised the idea of being defined by wealth. Unfortunately, when my father passed away, we lost the family store, and although I wasn't impoverished, I was no longer very wealthy.
My identity and perception of money underwent significant changes during that time.
To this day, my connection with money and the barriers I face remain a work in progress. While I feel a sense of abundance by many standards but not in the manner that my grandfather created generational wealth.
My journey of understanding my identity about money continues to unfold.
I would love to hear from you if you are trying to understand your identity and limiting beliefs. Connect me on LinkedIn and send me a message.